Enrich Your Life Skills & Career
Dr. Jitendra Nagpal
Life skills are abilities for adaptive and positive behaviour that enable our youngsters to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life. These are a set of human skills acquired via teaching or direct experience that are used to handle problems and questions commonly encountered in daily human life. Dr. Jitendra Nagpal is a Life Skills Coach. He is a developmental trainer in youth wellbeing and soft skills for the schools, colleges and corporate sector. In this regular column, he will answer the questions of our readers
Q1. My daughter is 20 years old and pursuing BCom(Hons).. For past 1 week, she has become very quiet, does not wish to go out with friends or family, stays alone in her room all the time. On probing, she told me that she broke off with a guy whom she was in love with. Next year, she would be a graduate. I am not able to understand how to pull her out of this depression. Please help.
Answer. Your daughter is at a stage where attractions and infatuations are quite common. Biologically as well as psychologically, series of changes compel a person to get attracted to the opposite sex.
Firstly, you need to make her understand that this was only an attraction and happens with a lot of people at this age. Also, she must understand that there is an appropriate time and age for such things to take place.
At present she should concentrate only on her studies. You should try to divert her mind to other pleasurable things or events like engaging her into extracurricular activities or anything that she finds interesting. Make her routine busy enough so that she does not get time to think about her broken relationship and become sad.
Please remember that this is a very sensitive issue and more than a mother, she is looking for a friend in you, with whom she can share all her joys and sorrows of life. Let her not lose that confidence in you. With time, things would materialize and she would soon realize her priorities.
Q. I am 21 years old studying in Delhi University. I always enjoyed my studies and have a good academic record, having scored very well in the last semesters. My teachers and parents consider me intelligent but I have lot of difficulty in concentrating. I have been trying really hard to study, because I want a good career. I have a girlfriend and we talk regularly for an hour a day. Do feel very distracted. I feel also addicted to the internet. Will all these things affect my mind and studies? How should I cope with this situation?
Answer. Indeed, 21 is the age of a time for working towards your goals and career but at the same time also enjoying. Well, having a girl friend may be a psychological booster. You certainly don’t need to give up on your girlfriend, in fact both of you can be of great support to each other and motivate to do better in studies. But you must also understand that there is an appropriate time and age for such things to take place as distractions occur more commonly with unexplained lifestyles, especially during exams and challenging periods.
However, the usage of Internet needs to be limited.
1. This limit is also something that you need to set for yourself. For example, set your computer usage boundaries early on. There’s no point trying to change your habits if you haven’t decided on your new boundaries. How long are you going to use the computer from now on? For what purposes? Decide this first, take action second.
2. Do some exercise or some outdoor sport activity in the time you are spending on the internet. Exercise will keep you healthy, happy and will improve your study concentration.
3. If you find your concentration going away take short breaks – drink a glass of water, have a healthy nutritious snack, do 10 minutes of stretching or treadmill or spot jogging, talk to your parents or siblings and come back to your table to study. Good Luck for your future endeavours.